


Three Little Words

by shipatfirstsight



Category: Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Genre: AU probably, Ben turns back to the light side, F/M, Fluff, Love Confessions, Not Incest, Rey is a Kenobi in this one, set post canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 03:50:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5651458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipatfirstsight/pseuds/shipatfirstsight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Rey tells Ben she loves him it's a mistake</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Little Words

The first time Rey tells Ben she loves him it's a mistake.

"Beautiful," he calls her and it's so unexpected after being called scavenger—first mockingly and then affectionately—for so long that she can't stop the words that have been building for a long time.

“I love you,” spills out of her mouth as a blush heats her cheeks. It feels natural to finally give voice to her feelings and she’s struck with the rightness of her words; it’s Ben—Ben’s reaction—that brings her back down.

He stills, mouth gaping comically, and she realizes with awful clarity that while he was complimenting her he can’t possibly feel the same way she does. There’s a growing emotion in his eyes, and she thinks its horror. So she does what any rational person would do in her situation.

She flees the room. 

Rey doesn’t stop running until she’s far away from anyone, lost in the tangle of the wilderness around the base. It’s only then that she allows herself to consider the words. They weren’t a surprise, really, because she’d come to care for him immensely. Their lives had been intertwined for years, neither able to kill the other, both fighting to bring the other to their side. In the end, she’d won him over, helping him to strike the killing blow on Snoke and the First Order. 

She’d been the one assigned to keep an eye on him after his trial and sentencing. He was too valuable to kill the court had decided, so rehabilitation was the course of action they went with instead. The Jedi Order needed all the people they could get to build their numbers back up, even if that meant one of their number would be the person who had destroyed the fledgling order in the first place. 

“Think of it as community service,” General Organa had told her son. “Don’t think of it as a punishment. They’re offering you a second chance.”

“Third chance,” Ben had whispered back, but Rey could hear the words echoing in her head; it had become far too easy for each of them to know what the other was thinking. “A chance I don’t deserve.”

“It’s not about deserving, Ben.” The general left after that, nodding to Rey as she walked away. 

Not everyone was happy with the decision; many felt the way Ben himself did. Rey supposed she was also performing the role of protector both for Ben—from himself more than from angry Resistance members—and for the people living on the base in addition to keeping an eye on him. 

Rey spent nearly every day with Ben, helping him control his anger. Rey was supposed to train with him, and they’d certainly done that. But it was more than that. They talked all the time about the things that bothered them; their hopes and fears, even their weaknesses. It was like…they’d both seen the worst and the best in each other so they could be honest with each other about everything in a way they didn’t feel comfortable being with anyone else. 

Neither of them really knows what to do without a war. 

They’d become inseparable, causing some of the older resistance members to joke, “Where there is Kenobi, you will always find Skywalker not far behind.” Apparently, both of their grandfathers had been friends as well. Rey and Ben stayed up late one night, looking up holofilms of Obi Wan and Anakin from the days of the Old Republic just to understand what all the comments were about. 

They spent more and more time together as time went on; Master Luke sent them out on missions—always, always together. Rey was never sure which one of them he was more worried about. The three years after the war ended seemed to go by with startling swiftness and nearly every memory of every day from those three years included Ben in some way. 

“Jedi are peacekeepers,” Luke always reminded them before they left, “and now is the time to keep peace.”

They were both known for occasionally losing their tempers. 

It was natural, falling in love with him, as simple as using the Force. They moved in sync with each other. 

She guesses that she just always thought that if it ever came to this, their feelings would be in sync too. 

Rey’s still walking through the woods; the dress she had on for the celebration of the anniversary of the end of the war was getting tangled in the underbrush. She tugged angrily at it. She felt it rip, but still looked in surprise at the torn fabric in her hand. 

She cries in frustration. In one smooth move, her lightsaber is out. She doesn’t attack any of the trees—though she half wishes that she could bring herself to—merely goes through her forms, trying to calm her breathing.

It’s only when she feels calmer that she feels the tears trekking down her cheeks. Rey pauses, deactivating her lightsaber, and then wipes away the tears. It’s been so long since she really cried, so long since she really felt out of control of her emotions, that she almost just wants to let herself cry.

“Rey?” she hears from somewhere behind her, and she knows that voice so well by now, but she doesn’t want to face him right now. 

“I’m fine, Ben,” she winces because even she can hear the evidence of tears in her voice. “I just want to be alone right now.” 

“Rey—“

She doesn’t want to hear whatever he’s about to say; doesn’t want him to tell her that he really cares about her but he just doesn’t feel the same way she does, she can’t face his apologetic expression, so she breaks into another run.

She pushes through the trees, ignoring Ben calling her name behind her. She can hear him, gaining on her, but she pushes herself to go faster. Rey doesn’t care about her dress anymore and when it snags, she lets it rip. It’s a lost cause anyway. 

“Rey, stop running,” Ben yells, pleadingly, and his voice carries through the trees. 

Rey ignores him, because if she stops running she’ll have to face him and that’s the last thing that she wants. So she keeps running; it’s easier this way, to keep running and not have to deal with her thoughts or whatever he’s going to tell her.

And then she trips on an exposed root and falls flat on her face. 

She’s not down long, but it’s long enough for Ben to catch up to her place a gently touch on her shoulder. He turns her to face him and immediately removes his hand. His gaze runs over her face searchingly; embarrassed, she lowers her gaze, throwing up her mental shields.

“Rey,” he starts, and she wonders why he’s been saying her name so much when normally he calls her by a nickname. “Why’d you run?”

She scratches her arm, brushing off a piece of dirt, and then shifts from one foot to the other. Rey knows she’s stalling, but she wants to draw this out before the inevitable happens. When he tells her he doesn’t feel the same, she doesn’t know if she’ll ever be able to talk to him again. “I shouldn’t have said that,” she finally says, looking him in the eye.

Ben looks shocked, taken aback. “Why not?”

She swallows loudly; it fills the silence that stretches out between them. All she can manage to get out of her suddenly dry throat is, “I just shouldn’t have.”

One of his arms stretches out toward her and hesitantly, so hesitantly; he cups her cheek in his hand. “I’m glad you did,” he says.

“What?” she takes a step towards him as she voices her question.

“I’m glad you did,” Ben says, firmer than he did before. “Because I love you too.”

Rey gasps in delight—she’d never considered that he might feel the same way as she does. So she stretches up on her toes as he leans down, and their lips meet in a sweet kiss. He gathers her close to him, lifting her off her feet more, and she buries her hands in his hair. She lets her mental guards down, and lets the love she feels for him flow through their connection. Ben gasps, breaking their kiss to look down at her with wonder in his eyes. When he kisses her again, it’s rough with passion.

They never do make it to the celebration party.


End file.
